Thursday, January 19, 2012

you're the reason why I moved to the city or why I'll need to leave




There are currently apartment buildings being constructed across the street from our bookstore, and jack hammering has been going on all week, for 8 hours a day. We aren't allowed to close out door because the owners feel it creates an unapproachable atmosphere. So just think of that constant background hammering noise while you read this.
Middle-aged Female Tourist from Adelaide: So let me get this straight. (pause...)
Me: ....yes?
MAFT: This is just a REALLY good selection of remaindered books?
Me: That's right.
MAFT: Well I am looking for a book that ISN'T remaindered!
Me:....Do you know the title?
MAFT: Yes! (pausing with stupid grin on her face.)
Me:....would you like to tell me....
MAFT: It's a Philippa Gregory novel!
Me: Is it a particular title? or just any Philippa Gregory?
MAFT: Yes! (still stupidly grinning)
Me: (eye twitching) Would you like to tell me.......
MAFT: EARTHLY JOYS! IT'S FAAABULOUS!!
Me: I will just check for you. (checking) Sorry, it's not one that we stock.
MAFT: Where else can I go??
Me: There is an excellent bookstore called the Paperback on Bourke Street.
MAFT: But that's so FAAR. Can't you make it closer?!
Me: What, the physical, already exisiting bookstore?
MAFT: Yes! Can't you get them to send it to you?
Me: Well, seeing as we are not affiliated with them, unfortunately that would be a no.
MAFT: Okay well just order it for me then!
Me: I'm sorry, but since it is not in our system, we cannot order it for you.
MAFT: But you are a bookstore!! I don't want to walk down there!! Just order it!
Me: I'm sorry, but even if I did order it for you, which I can't because it's not in our stock list, it would not arrive within the next 25 minutes. Which is essentially how far away the Paperback is.
MAFT: Well can you just call them for me to see if they have it?? I don't want to walk down there!
Me: I'm sorry, but I can't do that with a company we are not affiliated with, and is in direct conflict with our own business.
MAFT: C'MOON! JUST CALL THEM!!
(Did you forget about the jack hammering? think about it RIGHT NOW)
Me: Can I help you with anything else?
MAFT: Yes, do you know where I can buy a pair of Spanx?

Me:................

4 comments:

mattbrown said...

Seriously: shut that door. It will have at least two great benefits.

lulu said...

oh. my. yowza. hahahaha!

*breathe*

doctor bunsen honeydew said...

did she really ask about spanx? cuz i need that to have really happened.

Sarah said...

She really honestly did.